Slapping Yourself in the Face

July 14, 2010 by AnnMarie

I think it’s ok to beat yourself up a little bit (no pun intended) for not sticking to a workout, regardless of what type of workout you like to do. But I don’t think it’s ok to get defeated.


I was supposed to do a speed run yesterday. That’s a mix of running speeds at various time intervals and exertion levels, which yesterday should have lasted 75 minutes. I chose picking up an odd job (which led to a bigger job) over a day run, and I chose two for one pizza’s at Milano’s and a glass of Cab Sauv over a night run. I swore I’d get up early today and get a run in before the sun got so blazing hot that I’d use the heat as an excuse to not run. It’s now after 10am. I’m in my running clothes, but I’m here on the sofa, surfing the net and getting into a nice state of denial about the rate the temperature is rising outside.

I will get out there and, like many days before, I’ll do it somehow during the hottest part of the day and perform more poorly than I would if I’d have actually gotten out there early. I still hate myself for missing yesterdays run, but I’m not going to be defeated. I have a goal that drives me: kicking ass in the Jacksonville Bank Marathon in December. I am bound and determined to redeem myself after fucking up the 26.2 with Donna in February where an unrelated health issue killed my time and spirit.

I remember a time where I was much more easily defeated. When cheating boyfriends, or getting laid off from a job killed my spirit and will to, well, try. I inched up 3 pants sizes and lost a lot of self esteem in that downward spiral. Now after dropping 4 sizes and building back my self esteem, and then some, I never get so defeated that I don’t come back to it because I know I can bounce back.

It’s ok to feel like shit after eating nearly all of a pizza once in a while…it’s ok to sleep in and miss a pre-dawn run…it’s ok to skip yoga…it’s ok that the girl in front of you in the checkout line has a better ass than you in her size 2 jeans…it’s ok to hit happy hour instead of the gym. Just don’t let it kill your goals all-together.

Today my other goal is to make that second pizza last for three meals. Ha!


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