Fast Food Fail

January 11, 2011 by AnnMarie

I saw a commercial yesterday for oatmeal at McDonald’s. Oatmeal. Are you kidding me? Topped with apples and raisins, because everybody loves raisins (gak!). But seriously, I can’t believe the balls some fastfood scumbags have. They offer you healthy salads, but top them with disgustingly fat and calorie packed dressings. They offer apple slices but only with your kid’s 500 calorie and 15 grams of fat happy meal.

You may argue that at least McDouchebag is providing healthy options and isn’t that great of them and aren’t they being responsible little corporate angels. Well, no. They are simply providing a carrot on a stick to the health-conscious masses and, more accurately, the millions of overweight American’s who are trying so hard to make healthy changes in an environment where healthy options are so scarce.

It’s actually more like a bait and switch. Here’s how it works. Mom takes the kids to McDonald’s for breakfast because they’re running late and didn’t have time for breakfast at home. She also knows that they now serve healthy oatmeal that fits in her diet nicely. Yay! Oh, and here it is on the menu, right next to the 440 calorie bacon egg and cheese biscuit and 390 calorie cinnamon roll with it’s luscious gooey frosting and sugar-filled goodness. Lets wash that down with a 450 calorie, 20 grams of fat Carmel Frappe. Mmm. Ok, for the rest of the day she can have a slice of cucumber and she won’t sabotage her diet. Meanwhile, the kids are throwing a tantrum until mom breaks down and buys them the Cinnamon Melts at 460 calories and 19 grams of fat in a lackluster 4 ounce serving (yes, only 4 oz).

I can’t say that I never eat fast food. In times of desperation I will grab some fries. I have to go through the drive thru and completely ignore the menu. If I didn’t, it would be too difficult a struggle to avoid the yummy treats they push. Remember, these bastards have multi-million dollar marketing campaigns and the most diabolical advertising minds that money can buy behind them. They know how to make you buy their shit. For 2011, McDonald’s has a 2.4 billion dollar budget to revamp and redesign their stores and menus (*a). $2.4 BILLION? We don’t stand a chance!

I’ll leave you with these final words from McDonald’s President and COO Don Thompson; “People eat with their eyes first…If you have a restaurant that is appealing, contemporary, and relevant both from the street and interior, the food tastes better.” Yeah, Don, because what’s important to us is how your restaurant looks, not how your food tastes or how healthy it is.

Now this is my kind of fast food breakfast!

*a: source =


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