January 30, 2011 by AnnMarie
There’s a big difference between confidence and arrogance. You can be one, the other or both, but you really only need to be one: confident. Confidence, in my opinion (and without looking up precise definitions), is an inner knowledge and appreciation of your self value. Arrogance is the need to make sure everyone else knows it.
There’s a guy in the gym I call “Attitude”, among other more colorful names. He makes it a point to toot his own horn. He’s the Liberache of egomaniacs. Way over the top. So regardless of whether he’s got a valid reason to be confident, he is a pretty cocky prick. All talk. Smack talk. He’s also prone to insult others, like myself, in front of the whole gym. Knocking down others to lift himself up.
Within our Bunnies group, I sometimes notice our girls have the opposite problem as “Attitude” has. They cut themselves down and put others up on a pedestal. “So and so is so much better at this than I am.” or “I’ll never be as fit as that girl.” Knock it off! Find the balance between egotism and self-deprecation. You are doing something so wonderful for yourself! You are in the gym. You are sweating. You are giving it your all. You are not on the sofa. You have your hands in boxing gloves and not a bag of chips.
You believe in yourself enough to have put on your workout clothes, gotten in your car, gotten to the gym, wrapped your hands, jumped rope then taken a deep breath before jumping head first into whatever hellish workout Ann Marie has planned for you.
I told a new member yesterday that there are four things she’d get out of our class. As soon as I said it, I realized I didn’t know what three of the four things were exactly. Rather I didn’t have in my mind what the takeaways were except I knew what I wanted to say lastly. On the fly I said stamina, strength, friendships, and lastly confidence.
What I’ve learned since starting boxing nearly three years ago is that my confidence is all internal. I feel it, I don’t talk about it (well, except for here at this moment). It’s something that others can’t see with their eyes, but it’s kind of more like an aroma. And no, it’s not body odor! The Ann Marie before boxing would have felt the need to tout her accomplishments. If no one knows about it, it never happened! I’m not that arrogant anymore now that I have something to be cocky about. At the same time though, I also used to cut myself down at any opportunity. “Oh YOU’RE not fat! I’M fat!”
I don’t do that anymore either. I like myself, my body and what the two have accomplished together. I’m far from perfect. Cutting down our little friend “Attitude” here publicly is proof of that. But that’s a fault I’m confident I can live with.